Almost a month ago I made the 6000 plus
mile journey to drop this Diva off at college.
It took me a little while to put words to paper,
so to speak. From the months leading up to her drop off
and the people I ran into after, all asked 'how are you all doing, have the tears started/stopped yet, how hard was it to leave her, I bet you cried a lot.' Everyone
expected us to be sad, heart broken and devastated, but the truth is
we were not. For a hot minute I started to question my parenting.
Was I a bad Mom? How could I be so cold hearted?
The reality of it is I was not sad, you see her Dad
and I had spent the last 18 years preparing her for this day!
I was proud and excited! Ready to see where this next chapter is going to take her.
I didn't drop a helpless toddler off at college! I dropped a smart, capable, strong willed, resourceful, beautiful, stubborn, loving, amazing, Diva off at college!
The last eighteen years we have tried to prepare her for adulting. Our goal
has been to raise productive members of society.
Living this lifestyle we get to see and encounter all types of
people that we would normally never cross paths with. I saw a lot of grown woman
who could not adult or do a simple task alone and I was determined
that would not be my daughter.
While living in Europe and Asia we saw that children were given a lot more freedom,
responsibility and that the parents had higher exceptions for their kids.
When she questioned why she had to do adult things herself, why we made her send her own food back if it was cooked wrong, why she had to go through airport security, customs and immigration alone, it was because we wanted her to be a productive member of society. We wanted her to learn, while still having a safety net. I always made sure I could see her and would step in if needed, but she never needed us.
We made her find her way back to our hotels when we traveled. Not by using the GPS on her phone, but from a map or her memory. We gave her the chance to lead and we followed. If she needed extra towels in hotel room then she was going to front desk, she wanted room service then she needed to call. I quizzed them on what to do if we get separated and where the exits were in a building. I gave the non-sugar coated answer on what happens if she was kidnapped. We might have given more real non-sugar coated answers to a lot of her questions over the years, but we wanted her to understand the dark side of this world.
We wanted her to see the good in world, but know the dark side exists.
She spent her last year with us traveling to Seoul on the weekends with her friends.
Very rarely did anyone in the group really speak Korean.
They would train, taxi, bus, subway and walk all over Seoul.
She sang karaoke in clubs, ate at a Michelin Star restaurant,
visited lots of cafes, shopped, and made a ton of memories.
She learned so many different life skills while doing this.
We had one very unique night when her friends called her in a panic, because
someone had a little too much Soju and lost her ID to get back on base.
The Diva had decided not to go out that night, stayed home and watched movies
with us. In the group she ran with she was the 'mom', the voice of reason, and the
one to keep them all in line. After realizing this was above her grade, she asked for my help. I
gave her a few options and she worked with her friends and to get the girl home safely.
It was one of those moments where you realize that maybe not everything
went in one ear and out the other.
Her college journey started off a little rocky.
While I was about to board my plane I got a text message from her.
There was a situation with her dorm room and sleeping in her
room was not an option. She had reached out to RA and was given an option,
but one that we did not find acceptable. I am sure the RA were doing the best
that they could, but it was not enough. Her Dad did send out
a 'nicely' worded email to someone, but other than that, the Diva handled it all.
She emailed deans, professors, and head of department.
She moved herself into a hotel for a few nights and when questioned at
check-in as to why she didn't have the credit card that was used to make the
reservation, she handled it like a champ. They didn't even realize she was not even
18 year old yet!
She has since moved back into her dorm, opened a new checking account, got renters insurance, got a job, joined a dance club, attends weekly game nights with the OG kids, learned the bus system, Orbit, and can call a Lyft like a boss. She had her first official day of school on her 18th birthday. She even found a week-long dance workshop with a dance teacher from South Korea in the next town over. Her and her friend both got into the workshop and have been having a blast. As I type this she just got home from her first college football game.
She is adulting like a boss, but knows we are only a phone call away! She knows to keep her head on a swivel, stay alert, and Rule #9, but knows that the world for the most part is safe. That she should not fear walking alone in her college town, but to never turn down a dark empty ally. That there is safety in numbers, but sometimes you have got to walk alone. Trust your gut and never put down your drink. She knows that "no" is a complete sentence. The family is always first and that we are her ride or die!
I know this new chapter in her life is going to have ups and downs, but I am excited to see where it takes her.
v
She's got big plans! I have no doubt that she will knock it out of the park.
No, I was not sad, but extremely proud of her!
This little girl of mine is ready to
kick ass and take names!
She is smart, funny, compassionate, stubborn, out spoken, loyal, beautiful, and strong. The teenage years might have been a bit rocky at times, because she is her Momma's mini me when it comes to her attitude, but speaking from experience that will serve her well later in life.
“And one day she discovered that she was fierce, and strong, and full of fire, and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.” — Mark Anthony
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